Friday, September 12, 2014

...You Might Be Potty Training

People like to warn first time parents about the miseries of parenthood, especially sleepless nights.  But nobody warned us about potty training.  Here is 7 Quick Takes of "... you might be potty training"  (read this to the "tune" of Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be a Redneck").

If you'd rather be doing that chore that you hate the most and avoid at all costs...

... you...might be potty training.

If you get SUPER EXCITED because there is pee all over your floor... because he was in fact peeing on the potty, he was just aimed wrong...

... you might be potty training.

If you've been staring at your child's privates a lot longer than you'd like to admit...

... you might be potty training.

If "Let It Go" fits as the theme of the day (for you or your child, take your pick)...

... you might be potty training.

If your son has the aforementioned song memorized (and is running around the house yelling "LET IT GO!") because he's watched it 50 (plus 107,643,982) times because it keeps him sitting on the potty...

... you might be potty training.

If you have said things like "When the duck quacks you're going to go sit on the potty!"...

... you might be potty training.

If you have experienced the five stages of grief -

(after your child has successfully peed on the potty, but has had an accident) "He's never going to be potty trained!  He's just not getting this!"


I will give you all of the M&M's in the world if you will just poop on the potty!!!

I can't do this anymore.  My will is not strong enough.  They should revoke my parenting badge.  They should give badges for potty training.  We're going to be sending him to college in diapers.  I will be changing sheets every night until I die and I will never get a good nights sleep again.  Maybe a stiff drink will make me feel better about there being pee on my carpet.  

I can change sheets and underwear.  This won't last forever.  He is improving.  We are doing this potty training thing and we are not going back!

- all within a five hour period... 

... you might be potty training.

--- bonus ---

AND, if you considered taking a picture of your child's first poop in the potty AND posting it on social media (but didn't cause you have some self-control and dignity even after being peed on)...

... you might be potty training!

Happy Friday!!
And may it all come out ok in the end! 

(c'mon, I had to slip one bathroom pun in here)

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!


  1. I just waited until they were 3.

    My first child had a "I did a first poop" cake. I didn't even realize we did that, until I saw a picture of the cake and my daughter I apparently took.

    She's now 12, I'm embarrassed for her now.

    1. Ha! You need to pin a picture of your "first poop cake" on Pinterest. You know it would become all the rage! Lol, I'm envisioning a cake wrecks cake. If you haven't seem cake wrecks, google it and be entertained for hours. Lol!

  2. Oh my goodness, YES. I hated potty training. It was years ago now, but I still remember the trauma . . . argh. It was (almost) worse than the sleepless nights of infanthood . . .

    1. I agree. We're doing significantly better than the first day. We've hit one week and we've come along way :) Thanks for stopping by! -Amy Z

  3. I hate potty training so much! You cracked me up! I seriously just let them do it all on their own when they are 3 or 3 1/2. I'm so terribly lazy. Did I mention I hate potty training? :) My next kiddo in line turns 3 in May, and I will remember your post. 7 down, 2 to go....

    1. After five kids you should have tips for me, right? Right? :) You could make a deal with your older ones: "$50 to the one who potty trains the sibling in need of training!" :)

      Amy Z

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